Lyrics

So What If I'm Standing In Apricot Jam - album cover

So What If I'm Standing In Apricot Jam

01. Wicked Wetdrop, Quonge and Me

Wicked Wetdrop flattens tiny quonges with his nose
Whinges as he busts the glass and through the window goes
“It appears” he moaned “I'm rather stoned and falling super free”
“Farewell I'm dead!” “You ain't” said Fred, “You rolled off the settee.”

The glass sphere world of wicked wetdrops, quonges short and tall
And pink and green forget me nots, and ticklish Freds and all
Can be easily seen by anyone prepared to take a stand
To have pumpkin eating blackbirds designated to the band.

Here take this clip and have a sip of light grey melancholy
And watch the tiny flattened quonge with seven sticks of holly
He used to have fourteen you know or so the story goes
I'm glad you're here with Christmas cheer stuck firmly in your nose.

“It appears” said Micked Metdrop, in a voice from underground,
“You've got both my initials written upside bleedin' down!”

Root a toot a and flootle flute and tittle twittle twee,
The distant sound of blackbirds paddling slowly out to sea,
Seated solemn on a stone we raised our cups of tea,
“Gday!” said Wicked Wetdrop, tiny flattened quonge, and me.

02. Hot BJ

When you want to write down good things
You need one good pencil and one good thing to write on
One of the best things about getting all het up
Is that it's cool when you come down.

And one of the best things about drinking hot blackcurrant juice
Hot BJ, hot blackcurrant
One of the best things about drinking hot blackcurrant juice
Is you can still drink it when it gets cold.

And one of the best things about loving Suzie
Loving loving Sue
Is that if I don't build up the fire when it gets down a bit she does

La la la ...

And if you want to be critical and say this sounds
A bit like Donovan I won't change it
Take two with water and go to bed
I won't be here when you come down

I won't be here when you come down
I won't be here when you come down
I won't be here when you come down
I won't be here when you come down

03. Village Hill

Yesterday were feeling dreary - mind were limp and body ill,
Thought me ought me take a walk up to the top of village hill.
Dragged about me leather jacket army boot and nearly soon
Plunged me out of dingy household into golden afternoon.

Zapped were me by all the birdies filled mine head with birdie song
Skylark, sparrow, blackbird, tit, I dare not did to sing along.
Wintry sun were slowly sinking making way for wintry moon
and wintry legs worked hard to catch it, climbed the orange afternoon.

Nor did me simply walk sedately to the top of village hill
but jumped and leapt and laughed and wept and danced to all the birdie trill
the trees - these ears against their trunks told knowledge of their own
How tiny seeds to mighty trees of many years have grown
Our branches are the woodwinds for the air to play said one
Now make haste poor rootless creature you must catch the setting sun.

Twas then me left behind them trees and booted rootless climbed
the last leg of the rocky knoll to see what eyes might find
Upon the very summit lay a single silver tree
A forgotten fallen sentinel remembered now by me.

Me put the tiny village in palm of outstretched hand
Me stood on fallen sentinel looked far into the land
Where many distant hills and valleys disappeared into the sky
And beneath a dome of indigo this held its head up high.

The North wind blew on hard and strong and shouted her voice into these ears
She gives this face a runny nose and made these eyes filled up with tears
and streaked them back into this hair which lifted swirling everywhere...

Instr .

04. Commitment to the Band

I stood on the top of the cliff over water
And felt myself drawn to the edge new I ought to
Step back but I couldn't it sucked me right in
It felt good, I went up...

I was slightly aware of a very small feeling
Of terrification somewhere in my stomach
But generally speaking the foremost sensation
Was that of complete peace of mind.

I kicked off my clothes cos I just didn't need em
And soaked up the sun of my newly found freedom
I was one with the cosmos with nothing to say
To the piddling society so far away

And the bankers I owed money to, the bills I hadn't paid
The trivial fucking parking fines and women who I'd laid
Who were suing me for something that I didn't understand
The court of petty sessions, my commitment to the band.

I stood on the top of the cliff over water
And felt myself drawn to the edge new I ought to
Step back but I couldn't it sucked me right in
It felt good, I went up...

I was slightly aware of a very small feeling
Of terrification somewhere in my stomach
But generally speaking the foremost sensation
Was that of complete peace of mind.

I kicked off my clothes cause I just didn't need em
And soaked up the sun of my newly found freedom
I was one with the cosmos with nothing to say
To the piddling society so far away.

05. Good Time Songs

Legs apart and shoulders hunched and elbows on the bar
He sat behind an eight ounce glass of beer
And no one said a word to him except when his glass was empty
He was having a good time with the boys

And the boys in the bar drew a ring around his stool
And tried to make him disappear
So they looked the other way and sure enough he wasn't there
He was having a good time with the boys.

Having a good time with the lads just having a good time with the lads,
He was having a good time, having a good time, having a good time with the boys.

I play on the local eight-ball team, I got a good eye for the game,
I got a wife and a kid called Belinda Ann,
I'm 19 years old and if anyone can drive a car well I can
Building a four story motel in town
Clearing ninety-nine a week, that's what I'm paid
You can see I got it made...

And you slowly move away for one reason or another
But at closing time he might just catch your ear
And whisper in his loudest voice his proudest voice his...
Well I'd better be off or I'll catch it from the old lady.
She always gives me a hard time when I've been havin a good time with the boys...

In gaol, in gaol, in gaol In gaol...

The wardens lay the prisoners and the prisoners lay the wardens
and the wardens lay the wardens and the prisoners lay the prisoners
And they're all having a good time in gaol
When in doth come a parson of well know denomination
And he wants to have a few quiet words with you,
Dressed in just his collar with an arm about your shoulder
He talks all the coolest jargon now his hand's upon your chest
And he asks about the torments of the flesh...
In gaol, in gaol.

Having a good time with the boys, having a good time, a good time with the boys,
He was having a good time with the boys having a good time, a good time with the boys
Everybody's having a good time with the boys having a good time, a good time with the boys
Everybody's having a good time with the boys having a good time, a good time with the boys
Come on and have a good time with the boys have a good time, have a good time with the boys
Everybody's having a good time with the boys having a good time, a good time with the boys, everybody's doing it
Havin a good time with the boys, havin a good time, a good time with the boys
Kick off your groovy shoes and have, a good time with the boys
Have a good time, a good time with the boys today
Come on and have a good time with the boys, havin a good time, a good time, a good time with the boys.
Havin a good time...

06. Boots & Jam & Heads & Things

Boots upon the floorboards
Feet inside the boots
Body up above them staring at its roots
Psilo for the body, sybin for the head
Suzie's gone to get me some jam and toasted bread
That's what I said.

Jam upon your fingers, jam upon the floor,
Jam upon the doorknob jam upon the door
Jam upon your jacket, jam upon your jean
And please don't try to wipe us out
You don't know what it means

I was born and raised and preserved in a mushroom
Of a most peculiar breed
I fed my head on the flesh of the gods
and my body on a passing weed

so take my life if you will
I can do without it now
I fed my head on the flesh of the gods
That grow behind your sacred cow.

07. Happy Song

La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da
La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da

I'm a happy person today,
And I've got a good habit of staying that way
Try and change me, and you will see
It can't be done, not while there's a sun above me
I'm a happy person today,
And I've got a good habit of staying that way.

La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da ...

Looking around - see what I've found
Lots more happy - people like me everywhere
We're all happy people today
And we've all got good habits of staying that way.

La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da ...

I'm happy today, yes I am that way
I'm happy today, yes I am that way
I'll honestly say yes I will today
I'll honestly say yes I will today
I'm happy today-ay-ay
I'm happy today-ay-ay-ay-ay
I'm happy today-ay-ay-yay

La da da da da da da da daa
La da da da da da da da daa
La da da da da da da da daa
La da da da

La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da
La da da da La da da da La da da da La da da da

(Come on pass the jay, I will) deleted for Spotify

08. Now's The Time

He didn't even say hello
He just sat down and started playing
Couldn't see the point of saying anything at all
Words are for those who can use them
Without music you can lose them
I've got ways to pick and choose them,
Write them on the wall.

Now's the time for kings and heroes
Now's the time for crying loud
Now's the time for searching in the faces of the crowd
What's the point in being frightened
Here you answer none at all
Don't run down that dead end alley
If you hear me call.
(instrumental)

Now's the time for kings and heroes
Now's the time for crying loud
Now's the time for searching in the faces of the crowd
What's the point in being frightened
Here you answer none at all
Don't run down that dead end alley
If you hear me call.

09. Roast Pork

I've got a song to sing I got some news
This boys talked himself right out of the blues.
Who said talking ain't no good
Me most likely heaven knows why I should

I got a bottle of whisky I stole from the shop
I knocked it all over and lost every drop
I got a packet of dope smoke smoke smoke that I must
But in comes the screws, what do you know I am bust!

Well the fallen bottle is picked up by a cop
He says it looks like the bottle that was nicked from the shop
So in a mighty short time I am shopped to the nick
They say you know every charge is going to stick, stick, stick
Stick stick stick, Stick stick stick.

Settling in to that prison motel
I happen to notice a horrible smell
I said come on in boys you're there I can tell
And five little pigs came into the cell.
I said come on boys you've got the story all wrong
And started to sing the happy song.
They said we don't like that so what we're going to do
Is we're going to belt the piss out of you.

Now remember boys before we start
What you learned from mugging the poofs in the park
It's in with the boots and in with the knee
But don't leave marks for the sergeant to see.

Well I could see I was in a bit of spot
I could sense their emotions getting quite red hot
So I opened my hand and held out my arm
There was a big red spider standing on my palm

Now a prettier sight you never saw
Than five fat gendarmes stuck in the door
Shouting about their right to be free
And singing songs of liberty
In glorious four-part harmony I felt disposed to join in.

So I tuned in the guitar and joined in, quietly at first so as not to put them off, and this is what we sung:

We're five little pigs and we're stuck in the door
Grunt grunt grunt and squeal some more
We'll pick you posies and we'll pick you flowers
Cause we don't want to go to the abattoirs
We don't want to go to the abattoirs
No we don't want to go to the abattoirs.

With occasional bursts of that Queensland minion chant -
We're out to the snare the hippie commie lair...

Closely followed by

We don't like being mug lair coppers
Though once upon a time we thought we did.
We know you think that we're all fools
But that's because we had tough time at school
We don't like being mug lair coppers
Though once upon a time we thought we did.

And other cop songs like -

Somewhere over the rainbow
Sties are blue
Somewhere over the rainbow
I'll find a sty for you
Each day I wish upon a star
And hope promotion's not too far behind me.

I've got a song to sing I got some news
This boy's talked himself right out of the blues.

10. French Army

What's that crowd coming over the hill
Makes the light grow dull and the wind get chill
Grab your hats and run for the bunker
It's than 1973 French army

Grab your body's folks it's going to rain
That it's sunny in France and it's sunny in Spain
This is active radio sugarcane
On the eastern nuclear outlet lane.

There's a flare in the east and it isn't the sun
Big French bomber having fun fun fun
Killing the children of the Sea
One quick bang and snails for tea.

Gone to the Pine Tree
Gone to the pine tree baby cone-a pick up in a bag with you

Douglas sewn to a tick-a-tack horse in the pudding of a sago to know I know

What's in the bag at the end of the tethering branch made of four by two roo you knew

Just how to trip at the start at the end there was everything but nothing to do.

So.

Where were you then when in why what at the wedding of the I know you knew to do

Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.
Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.

Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.
Douglas sewn to a tick-a-tack horse in the pudding of a sago to know I know

What's in the bag at the end of the tethering branch made of four by two roo you knew

Just how to trip at the start at the end there was everything but nothing to do.

So.

Where were you then when in why what at the wedding of the I know you knew to do

Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.
Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two

Gone to the pine tree baby cone-a pick up in a bag with you

Douglas sewn to a tick-a-tack horse in the pudding of a sago to know I know

What's in the bag at the end of the tethering branch made of four by two roo you knew

Just how to trip at the start at the end there was everything but nothing to do.

So.

Where were you then when in why what at the wedding of the I know you knew to do

Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.
Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two.
Down by the Upton downtown ferryboat, underneath a paddle or two

11. Shadows & Riff

I watch the shadow fragments of your face
turned up above a single candle flame
reflecting only half of what you're feeling
and I wonder if the half of you I see is real
Or whether that's the other half it's hidden
like the roof above the ceiling

I turn my eyes away and watch the image
of the smile upon your cheeks it's real
it works a little magic in my veins
You don't know I was watching you
although before I turned you caught my gaze
We had a moment it was gone before it came

I wrap my woolen scarf around my neck, your neck
Get up put on my coat, your coat
and move myself yourself towards the door
And now standing near a lamp post
on the street, outside and feeling good
Our shadow shrunk beneath my soul is feeling very small

Chorus
For I am you and you are me and we are every
It don't matter
She is him and he is us and we are them in everyone
Count the people in the world the sum is one that adds up men
Hate your friend and love your foe it makes no difference in the end